Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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