did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
