if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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