you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
