Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
