I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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