So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
