If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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