I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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