Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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