super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
