nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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