Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
