and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
