why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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