Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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(818): View more from California

Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

(605): View more from South Dakota

WTF??? Isn't he married??

(910): View more from North Carolina

Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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(951): View more from California

better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night

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(682): View more from Texas

For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...

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