She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
