Duck Duck Cougar?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
