i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
