dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
