you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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