i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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