if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
