btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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