That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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