sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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