I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
