If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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