Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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