We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
