he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
