Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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