white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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