Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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