I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
