bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
