Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
