You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
