are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Couch. On fire.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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