it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
