apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wear drunk well.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
