Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
