absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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