Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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