Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
