Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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