im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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