There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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