What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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