i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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