just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize