I just made out with a guy for $7.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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