Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
