69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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