Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
