the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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