Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
