please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
