Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
