Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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