Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
