Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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