Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
is it fun? or sober?
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