She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
