look no pants
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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