dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize