In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
