i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
