i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
