PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
