We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
