So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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