There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm like, not good at living.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
