I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
