he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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